Hey everyone, how have you been? To be honest, my week was somehow mediocre. It is not necessarily unproductive, but it isn’t as productive as I would like it to be as well. Unlike most people, I physically go to work every other day, and when I’m not, I’m either doing house chores, groceries, or bank runs.
I thought everything was okay, until yesterday.
To my surprise, I had a really bad panic attack. I thought I stopped having those a long time ago? It has gotten worse from how it used to be before. I was just having my dinner, and the next thing I know I was crying over my food, catching my breath; my hands numb and shaking. I had no idea how that happened. There was no trigger at all. I wasn’t even sure if it’s connected to my fluctuating hormone levels. Last Thursday I remember feeling so, so heavy that I just want to stay in bed all day long. I was having manic and depressive episodes simultaneously. I was also having really bad acne breakouts and loss of appetite. Sometimes I think it stems from all the issues I’ve refused to acknowledge all these years, swept under the rug, and hid deep down my unconscious (oh hello Sigmund Freud). Maybe it’s all catching up to me now. There was just too much I couldn’t make sense of it anymore.
On a lighter note, here are some of the happy-nings this week (yup, that meant happenings that made me happy).
1. Finally bought a new laptop
Yay for me! I’ve always wanted a faster laptop because working on my Celeron processor laptop can sometimes be a pain in the ass. It does the job, but so slowly. Now that I have a new Core i5 processor laptop, I look forward to more productivity and better content. Thanks Ms. Victoria!
2. Enrolled in Harvard’s free online courses
I totally recommend you guys try this out too. You can visit the website or download the edX app. There are thousands of courses free for audit, but if you want to get a certification and be included in graded assignments, then a subscription fee applies. I enrolled in Buddhism Through Its Scriptures and CitiesX: The Past, Present and Future of Urban Life. I’ve always had interest in Humanities and even though some people might think that it’s kind of unorthodox to learn more about Buddhism, well it is very interesting for me.
3. Attempts at Bullet Journaling
I bought two bullet notebooks (one small, one large) in high hopes that I’ll make an aesthetic journal. I even took home one pack of coloured pens from work, but in the end I failed so terribly at it lol. I guess I really am not an artsy person. The good news is, it turned out to be my normal diary so I could organise my thoughts and the content I want to put out here. It has also become my overall thought-book where I write down my goals and aspirations, wants, desires, and outlook in life.
4. Celebrating Ate Jen’s birthday
