The fading echoes in my Psyche
I have noticed that in the past week, I have been experiencing vivid dreams and intrusive thoughts that seem to come from a deeper part of my psyche. This usually happens to me when I feel stressed or anxious, but I can’t seem to pinpoint the exact cause of it. It feels like there is a part of me that has been hidden away for so long that even I forget it’s there. This part of me holds a lot of complex emotions that are difficult to express. It feels like it only comes out when I feel completely helpless. Usually, I feel in control of my thoughts, but lately, I have struggled to keep my head above water.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the past, and it’s been bringing up a lot of unresolved issues. On one hand, I’ve been having nightmares about my traumas, and on another, I’ve been dreaming about a paradise where those who have passed are at peace. It’s a strange, nostalgic, and almost melancholic feeling.
After the holidays, I have been fully immersed in work, errands, preparations for my wedding, and thinking about the next step in my career. When I’m in the midst of all this chaos, I go into autopilot. I imagine myself in the middle of the ocean, drifting aimlessly in its vastness and with nothing to hold onto. The sound of the waves is both soothing and unsettling, and the never-ending expanse of the sky above only intensifies the feeling of isolation. It’s like I’m being carried away, with no control over my destination, wondering if I’ll ever find my way back ashore.
It’s probably because I couldn’t remember the last time I truly did nothing. I longed to be alone with my own thoughts and to exist only in the present moment. I wanted to pause and hear the sound of my own heartbeat; appreciate that my entire body is working 24/7 just to keep me alive. I had been neglecting my own self-care for far too long and that I needed to start taking better care of myself.
Simple acts with profound impact
Self-care, in this day and age, is such an underrated word. As human beings, we sometimes forget that in our journey to find happiness, wealth, or success, we miss the place we should look first – ourselves. We often forget to ask, “Does this make me happy?” or “Is it worth spending my time for?” We are often distracted by the superficiality around us, the things that don’t matter. Remind yourself, did you do something worthwhile this week? What made you smile? What are the instances you said to yourself, “Ah, this is a good life.”?
I should ask myself that. No matter how mundane it is, it should be appreciated.
A change in lifestyle
If I can create all these complicated spreadsheets and crazy schedules for my workplace, I can do so with my own physical health. I made a pact with myself now that I am entering my 30s that I need to watch what I eat and I need to be a little bit more physically active since my metabolism can no longer keep up with my impulsive stress-eating. I need to make it a habit and stick to a schedule. I need to change my lifestyle accordingly.
Taking time to unwind
I like to relax by reading comics or watching Netflix series. This week, I started reading “Muse on Fame” on Webtoon, a cozy romance comic about a struggling actress. I love how it depicts the beauty of art and the complexities of life in general. When I’m not reading, I enjoy watching “Inside Job” on Netflix. It’s an adult animated sci-fi series that I find very interesting due to my fascination with conspiracy theories. I look forward to coming home every day to indulge in both the comics and the series.
DIY facials and beauty routine
Years after buying my High-Frequency wand for facials, I finally use them regularly. This will help with my face’s fine lines and discoloration before my wedding day. My skincare routine has also become simpler. Quality is better than quantity.
Getting my car a good TLC
Having a car is already a privilege. And because I treasure this privilege, I ensure I take care of it. It serves me purpose and convenience every day. It was only appropriate to keep it well-maintained. My airbags have been recalled and I have been waiting for them to arrive on the island for about 2 months. This is when I truly appreciated the convenience I had been taking advantage of all this time. This week, I finally had the chance to go to my dealer and have it all sorted out.
As the new week begins, let us take a moment to reflect on the simple joys that keep us grounded. Let us appreciate the gentle breeze that brushes our skin, the warmth of the sun on our faces, and the laughter of loved ones that fills our hearts. For amidst the chaos of life, it is these little moments of bliss that truly make it all worthwhile.
so true that’s why i’ve been very happy lately, the fact i have a place to stay with my cats, husband family, i have a warm home and car during the winter. im truly blessed!
great post!
Yes, indeed! We are blessed more than we can imagine 🙂